Bells were ringing to get me out of bed. I was wondering if only I could hear the christmassy undertone of the sound or if I was already hallucinating. Then I heard the hard breathing of someone really pissed because he was ignored, and I got the feeling that the Christmas sounds weren’t an illusion – they were a painful reminder of what time it was. The most wonderful time of the year, as some would say. 

I lifted my upper body and, opening my eyes, I had the joy of looking in the eyes of my PA who didn’t seem to be too happy. One of the reasons for that might be that with only half a meter of height he did have trouble climbing into my bed to be eye to eye with me. 

“It is time to stand up”, he crumbled. I looked at him, utterly fascinated by the fact that something that small could be that angry. It might have had to do with his rather childish features that he could be considered cute while he was angry – being an elf was a curse after all. Especially when you were one of the last ones working at the North Pole. 

“What’s the fuss about?”, I asked, climbing slowly out of my bed and into my plush slippers. Looking at the clock I realized it was December 24th. Years ago there would have been loud noises all around me by now, elves buzzing with the last preparations for the upcoming travel. It was cold outside, but as always, it was dark in December at the North Pole. 

“The others arrived”, my PA said. I looked at him, puzzled. 

“Don’t they have anything better to do today?”

He stared at me blankly for a second, before answering in an emotionless voice: “No.” 

The point after the ‘no’ was audible. There was no arguing with him and while I wanted to, I decided that it wasn’t worth the effort. That meant I needed to get dressed, in my finest red outfit, the one I called the “holiday outfit”. To be honest, after all these years, I despised the color red, but I knew the visitors expected it. 

“I didn’t have breakfast”, I claimed, while also having troubles buttoning down the jacket of the outfit. The PA watched me a little while. 

“I think you have had enough”, he answered, still in the same emotionless voice. I couldn’t agree less. Yes, I had been in better shape, but for years, I have had a diet based on cookies and milk, and old habits die hard. After putting on the outfit I looked in the mirror. Everything looked well – red suit, long white beard, the white hair looking out from under the red hat. The PA left the room in front of me and led me to the conference room the others were waiting in. On my way there I crossed the empty production lines. Years ago the place had been buzzing with elves producing all the toys. Then people started ordering online. I had seized the opportunity – after all the Christmas business is a multi-billion dollar industry. I had licensed the concept of Christmas to big and global players like Amazon or Apple and made my living out of the licensing fees. The elves mostly found their places in production facilities around the globe so they didn’t notice the change. They didn’t really care which old white man they were working for. Meanwhile, I had a good life, calm, and relaxed. After years of doing the job I felt entitled to not doing it anymore. My PA opened the door to the conference room. In there waited St. Nicholas and Christ child, the other entities of Christmas, both lifting their heads as I entered the room. 

“You seem relaxed”, started St. Nicholas. He was basically an older version of me, and I had to admit, I was already the old version of me. He had definitely seen better days, but with only getting a minor holiday he was growing older faster than I was believing possible. Unfortunately, this didn’t hold true for Christ child. Baby Jesus looked like a baby with wings – basically like Amor but without the bow and arrow, just a chubby little angel with a diaper. He needed to fly because sitting on a chair he would not have been able to look over the table. 

“You seem relaxed”, it repeated and both St. Nicholas and I rolled our eyes. Unfortunately, since our decline in importance, his mental development had taken visible steps back. In comparison, I stood the change best. 

“So, what are you up to this year?”, I asked to keep the conversation going and to, hopefully, get them out of the place soon.

“We wanted to ask you the same thing”, answered Christ child, having a second of clarity and becoming the mythical creature he was supposed to be. Unfortunately, this lasted only a second and you could see in his eyes that he went back to his infant state. 

“I was thinking about taking it easy this year”, I answered, keeping it vague.

“I saw the reindeer are not getting reined in”, St. Nicholas commented. 

“Yeah, I have decided not to go on the usual round this year. The reindeer are old. Rudolph is getting poor sight, and Dasher is showing signs of arthritis. I thought they deserved a year off.”

I decided not to add that I was also looking for a night in my chair, in front of the fireplace, watching some easy Christmas movies – this would be my first free Christmas in nearly 500 years. 

“You can’t do that, you know?”, answered St. Nicholas. I looked at him bewildered. 

“Why not? No one needs us any more. Look at him”, I said, nodding in the direction of Christ child. I did not want to explain to St. Nicholas how bad he looked. After all, I liked the old man. “People are buying the presents somewhere and are fine with that. I live well off the licences for Christmas products, my reindeer are fed, I have a warm oven. Let us get old.”

St. Nicholas shook his head, and for a second there he looked old and young at the same time. 

“Our job is so much more important than the presents.”

“I doubt people believe that”, I said. I wanted to look to Christ child for support on my argument but he was playing with an elf already, having forgotten all about us and the day. 

“Oh, the people don’t see our job. There is one present that people cannot wrap and put under a dead tree.”

He stood up, although it took him seemingly hours. Great gestures sometimes need a great effort. 

“We are bringing joy to the world”, he exclaimed, raising his arms, “And you wanted a global empire, so move your fat ass and get your reindeer, you are late already.” 

I looked at him standing there, scolding me with his eyes. I sighed and got up, before leaving the office. 

“This is the most wonderful time of the year”, I heard his booming voice as the door closed behind me. It seems I would again not have a calm evening this year, but I might get lucky and get some cookies and milk from a child. After all, I still didn’t have breakfast.